In the beginning of his handbook for the Exercises, Ignatius notes that a benevolent presupposition must govern the relationship between the person who gives the Exercises and the person who receives them. In a communal retreat, this a priori kindness is a necessary prerequisite among those giving the retreat and those making the retreat, as well as between retreatants themselves.
According to Marshall Rosenberg, the key to well-intentioned communication lies in becoming aware of the sentiments and needs (or desires) of others, as well as our own. Some good questions to ask ourselves are:
- What am I feeling right now?
- What are my needs (desires) right now?
- What is the other person feeling?
- What are the other person’s needs (desires)?
It is highly recommended to become competent in techniques of non-violent communication (NVC) through doing practical exercises. You can find some on the web.
